Equanimity: The Dance of Change

Navigating change demands a balance between action and stillness. Best suited for: managing transitions, overcoming burnout, finding clarity, regaining balance.

For someone who moderately likes change, it's incredible that I've made a career out of it. My job is to guide people from point A to point B, whether life throws them a challenge or they want to feel more aligned with their values, hopes, and dreams.

I work in human resources, specializing in organizational and leadership development. I wear many hats: business coach, facilitator, consultant, professor, mentor, crying wall, pushback, safe space—and all the other crazy roles that come with helping executives, managers, students, or anyone willing to express their potential.

Change is an adventure—a journey of transformation that can lead us to newfound balance and, hopefully, a more authentic and joyful life. But change is rarely easy.

Change is uncomfortable and anxiety-ridden, filled with countless thoughts, doubts, and tears. Yet, it also holds moments of action when hope runs through our veins like adrenaline. Slowly, possibilities transform into what-ifs, manifesting through actions that bring us closer to the reality we seek.

When I think of life-changing events, I see myself as dynamic—plotting, sprinting, and recoiling—feeling simultaneously capable and incapable, often within the same sentence. Proactivity and fear fill those moments, which never truly fade for those who keep exploring and seeking.

Change, though inherently dynamic—something that moves, unfolds, and happens—is also a moment of profound recollection. It's a place of stillness where the noise quiets and insights shine with truth.

Action and stillness might as well sound like an oxymoron, but instead, they are inseparable forces, creating a space where miracles happen. There is a word that unites them as the perfect couple: equanimity.

Equanimity means we can be calm, balanced, and composed even when we shake with uncertainty. It's the inner steadiness we rely on to respond thoughtfully to emotionally charged situations that might otherwise throw us off track.

In a nutshell, equanimity is finding the right pace throughout change.

In my podcast Breakfast with Stephen, I’ve had the privilege of interviewing some of the best scholars and practitioners in change management. For many of them, as often happens with meaningful missions, a personal challenge became a lifelong journey of research, experimentation, and helping others navigate change more easily.

Among the many conversations, some of the most profound insights have come from unexpected angles—stories that left a lasting mark on my mind. That’s when Simona entered my life.

With Simona Curci, you don’t just get one of the best organizational development professionals—you get the kind of friend everyone needs and the cool mom everyone dreams of: funny, thoughtful, and honest.

In our fast-paced, transactional world, Simona and I commit to meeting monthly to simply be present with one another. Yes, we talk about work, but mostly about ourselves—sharing, supporting, and connecting.

Simona has a gift for breaking down complex dynamics, weaving them into metaphors and analogies so simple and vivid that they resurface precisely when you need them. Every conversation with Simona leaves me feeling understood, appreciated, inspired, and lighter. The energy I gain carries me for days and influences all my interactions.

Patience is arguably the most important quality we need when navigating profound change. Yet, organizations often demand results “yesterday,” leaving little time for people to adapt at their own pace. However, pushing harder frequently backfires, creating more resistance and ultimately slowing progress.

Curious about how Simona approaches this challenge, I asked, “Working with people is rewarding, but it can also be draining. What’s your strategy for maintaining your energy?”

Simona smiled and said, “When you attempt to instigate change or unite diverse groups, you inevitably encounter resistance. In such situations, you often find yourself taking one step forward and two steps back. My first strategy is to view this back-and-forth not as wasted time or energy but as a dance. You must find the right rhythm; otherwise, you’re not dancing but merely marching.”

I shared with Simona that I often hear from leaders asking how much time they should give people to adapt. My answer is always the same: I don’t know. The time needed for change, rooted in personal resilience, is deeply personal and highly subjective. However, I explained that we know enough about the conditions that make change possible.

In typical Simona fashion, she responded by saying, “That’s what opossums do.”

“What?” I replied.

Simona laughed and said, “Another strategy I've developed, especially in recent years, is to avoid pushing too hard. I've learned that pushing too forcefully often results in increased resistance. Sometimes, you need to go with the flow and let things unfold naturally. I call this ‘The Opossum Strategy’—it’s like playing dead.

“When faced with questions or challenges, you don't react immediately; instead, you pause, breathe, and let them reach their own conclusions. Even if they believe you've given up, it's a matter of conserving your energy and maintaining a positive outlook.”

I told Simona that the “Opossum Strategy” sounded like giving people space.

She said, “Yes, absolutely! This is very important because when you have a specific idea about how things should be done, you risk taking up space for yourself instead of allowing people to express themselves. You should also accept that sometimes you may not be able to make changes.”

Change isn't about relentlessly pushing forward, hoping to expedite the process or hasten others' adaptation. Navigating change demands a balance between action and stillness. Without action, we stay stuck; without stillness, we move without direction or focus.

Equanimity is maintaining a serene and impartial perspective without being overwhelmed by emotions, challenges, or even successes. Being equanimous means embracing whatever comes—positive or negative—with openness and acceptance. In essence, equanimity is the foundation of a calm mind and a strong heart.

For Simona, equanimity manifests as an elegant dance—one step forward, two steps backward. She emphasizes that you can’t force everyone to move in the same direction or at the same pace. Like in a dance, you must find the right rhythm.

Simona jokingly refers to the "Opossum Strategy" as the moment during change when you have to "play dead." Stillness does not mean giving up; it's the opportunity to refine a more effective strategy, balance energy, and give people time to process change.

You can reach Stephen at stephen@alygn.company